Our Lady of Lourdes Church and School

Based on the understanding, that the marriage relationship is an “icon” of the relationship between God and God’s people, the Church’s teaching on the sacramentality of marriage and the place of the family in life is better understood. “The family is the image of God who is a communion of persons.”71 Marriage and the family, then, witness to the very reality of God’s own love for the world. It is not merely a social institution, but is truly a vocational reality. It is God who invites us to live lives of faithfulness, mutuality, and self-giving. In other words, the decision to marry and have a family, ideally comes out of a process of deep and honest vocational discernment.

“In accepting each other… [an] engaged couple promise each other total self-giving, faithfulness and openness to new life… gifts offered to them by God.”73 A couple’s “sexual union, lovingly experienced and sanctified by the sacrament, is in turn a path of growth in the life of grace for the couple.”74 Sex and and the sexual relationship between husband and wife are affirmed as a profound encounter of grace for the couple. This grace is only possible because of their commitment, one to another, and such loving mirrors the love God has for us. God’s love is truly incarnational. It is this incarnate love that reassures us that “neither of the spouses will be alone in facing whatever challenges may come their way.74  

This depth of self-giving is so important in our understanding of marriage and family, that in the Church we see the couple themselves as the minister of the sacrament of marriage. It is not the priest or the bishop who marries a couple, but rather the couple marry each other. A couple witness to the incredible gift that God offers. In their giving of consent and in the bodily union, the two become “one flesh”, and live out their calling from God.75 Where children are born to a married couple, we appreciate that such a gift of new life springs from the very heart of a couple's mutual self-giving. A child is not something “added on” to a couple’s relationship, but comes from the very heart of the relationship.80 All human life, at every stage of its human development, is to be cherished and protected, from its existence within the womb to its last stages in old age.83

These truths are often spoken of in pious language and in terms of ideals that can seem unattainable in the challenges and struggle so of daily living. However, the entire Church, and particularly her pastors, are cautioned against making any judgements of couples that do not take into consideration the complexities of very real human situations in which couples may find themselves. The pastoral love of the Church for couples and for families who experience distress is to be lived with a fullness of care and compassion.79