Our Lady of Lourdes Church and School

In our ongoing reading of Pope Francis’ reflection on Love in the Family, we pick up on his reflection on 1Cor 13, and his reminder that “in our families we must learn to imitate Jesus’ own gentleness in our way of speaking to one another”¹⁰⁰. I wonder how much easier my own days in my family might have been had I even thought of that simple, yet profound idea?

The generosity of love in the family is celebrated by St. Paul when he reminds us that love does not seek its own interest. It’s a practical reminder to us to lift ourselves up to be more in our family relationships, and to be the “bigger person”. This generosity of self can lead us to transcend limitations we think we have in our lives, and is an expression of laying down one’s life for another, as Jesus invites us to do.

As he reflects on Paul’s admonition to avoid resentment, Pope Francis cautions us against letting hurt and alienation take root in our families. He counsels a very practical idea that paraphrases the adage “Never let the sun set on your anger”. The Holy Father expresses it in a positive way: “Never let the day end without making peace in the family.”¹⁰⁴ He invites us to transcend our own tendency to be annoyed or irritated by a family member. He then goes on to invite us to practice the art of forgiveness. He notes that ill will leads to resentment, and that when we are offended, it can be very difficult to forgive another. This challenge is common to every family, he suggest. There is no family that does not know how selfishness, discord, tension and conflict violently attack and at times mortally wound its own communion…”¹⁰⁶ all of which ultimately leads to all manner of division and discord in a family. Pope Francis reminds us that we are better able to forgive others when we open ourselves up to receiving forgiveness for ourselves, and more, when we open ourselves up to God’s forgiveness in our lives. The fruits of sharing forgiveness in a family are mutual understanding, support and encouragement, and a minimal experience of tension or criticism. Family becomes a place where the achievement or the good of anyone in the family gets lifted up and celebrated.¹¹⁰ And at the same time, love is able to embrace the imperfections that everyone beings to the living of life, while still avoiding speaking ill of one another. This goes a long way to developing the kind of trust that sets us free and avoids control or possessiveness or domination. Independence and interdependence become enriching realities in our lives.

Love also perceives potential and possibility in ourselves and in others. We are all imbued with the capacity for change, without requiring it of one another. Such a love enjoys an “irrepressible commitment to goodness” ¹¹⁸ and it is a love we work hard at cultivating for ourselves because we can all enjoy the strength the entire family derives from it.