Our Lady of Lourdes Church and School

This past summer when my family was visiting from Ireland, one of the things I did was to take advantage of their presence to work on some personal papers relating to my own healthcare and end-of-life matters. I should say up front that I see my doctor for a regular annual checkup and I’m in general good health. I'm not taking care of these papers because there’s anything wrong with me, but because it is important for me that I face into some realities in an organized way without creating any burden or difficulty for my family or friends. I will also share up front that I’ve been bugging my parents about doing something like this themselves for about 8 years now, and they’re a little slower in taking care of their business. 

For many people, making plans and arranging documents that relate to illness and end-of-life can be very uncomfortable. Sometimes we avoid and shun conversations about these important matters within our families. However, the one certain truth of life is that it will eventually come to its end. We are all mortal. And in light of today’s gospel, even Jesus seems to suggest that the virtue of prudence is to be valued in determining how we live our lives and in how we move towards the closing of our lives. 

Here at Lourdes, in recent years, we have offered information evenings for those wishing to avail of them, and which relate to planning for end-of-life matters. I fondly remember an evening in which our own recently deceased Fr. John addressed themes relating to death and dying from the perspective of our Catholic tradition. He spoke about the choices of traditional burial of human remains and of the option of cremation. He spoke of planning ahead and of taking steps to help our families by speaking with them and outlining what we would like to happen when we die. He spoke of planning for funeral services and how the Catholic rituals have tremendous value in assisting the grieving process. He spoke too about the importance of place within our beliefs and traditions, and why it matters that we be laid to rest in one place (as opposed to scattering, or even not being laid to rest at all).

We have also provided some practical and informational workshops to assist parishioners who are interested in making plans to do so, availing of legal and planning professionals who offered their services without cost. This was a great gift to those who chose to avail themselves of this service which was made available through the Office of Planned Giving at the Archdiocese. 

For myself, I spoke with my siblings and a few trusted friends, and they agreed to help me by accepting some responsibilities. My personal situation is different from most in that I don’t have any family of my own, and my estate, such as it is, is pretty minimal. Nonetheless, I completed an Advanced Health Care Directive, outlining my choices for care should I be personally incapacitated and unable to make medical decisions for myself. This directive takes both my beliefs and my personal preferences into consideration. The second document that I executed was to provide for a Power of Attorney, This is important in the event that I become incapacitated or cannot act on my own behalf. I also completed a will, again discussing with family and friends what it contained and how I wished matters to unfold upon the occasion of my death. These three documents aren’t exhaustive, and I think they are a good beginning to prudent planning for what may come in my life. 

In doing these things, I was blessed with counsel from good friends who have expertise in different fields. It’s always important to be in conversation with family and friends about these things, and to be open and honest in those conversations. Sometimes the conversations are difficult, but that’s where I found the advice of professionals to be particularly helpful. I was nervous reaching out at first, but I found good people and I benefited from their experience and expertise. 

There’s an old joke about the fact that you never see a U-Haul following a funeral coach. It’s a good thing to do - for oneself, for one’s family and for one’s friends - to take the steps we can to be prepared for the final journey that awaits us all, and where possible, to minimize the difficulties for the loved ones we will leave behind at a time when they will undoubtedly be grieving.