Our Lady of Lourdes Church and School

"O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

If anyone was to ask me to whom Jesus addressed these words in the gospel, I’d be the first to say it was to Thomas. After all, it’s “doubting Thomas”, right? But I’d be wrong. No, these words were addressed to Peter in today’s gospel, following his encounter with Jesus in the storm. Jesus invited Peter to step out into the water and to meet him there. We all know the story… Peter gets out of the boat and begins to walk towards Jesus on the water. But then he begins to second-guess himself and he sinks as surely as a stone. This is a very human story, expressing very human realities.

When I think on the course of my own life, I have to admit that I am prone to my own fair share of second-guessing. I confess, that I can be convinced of my position and moving along in a determined way, only to allow someone to get into my head, causing me to question my own sense of purpose. Most of the time, I can right myself by re-visiting in my prayer and in my reflections what I have already discerned is right and good. But there have been occasions when I wasn’t able to do that so readily. Those were times in my life when I was really shaken and I had to work hard to remember some important truths for myself.

I remember a time in seminary when I lost my sense of purpose and it brought me to seriously question whether or not I truly belonged in the seminary. It was a difficult time and I almost left the seminary, convinced that not only had I lost my “vocation” but I was terrified that I had actually lost my faith. Needless to say, that wasn’t the case, but my perception of my reality at that time was that I had lost both my faith and any sense of vocation. It took some good time to recover my sense of self and my sense of purpose, and I could never have done it without the support of my classmates and a few key mentors. I was much younger then, than I am today, yet I still remember the experience as though it was yesterday. My remembering serves to remind me of how important good discernment is when confronted with challenges that can destabilize or unnerve.

Looking to find God in unnerving life-moments can be a terrifying prospect. Learning to trust a God who can seem elusive can be daunting. It would seem to me that just as the presence of God was real for Elijah, nonetheless Elijah struggled to recognize that presence. The man of faith looked in all the places he expected to encounter the living God, yet he couldn’t recognize God in those places. It was in the place that he didn’t expect to find God where God revealed himself to the prophet. In the gospel, even though Jesus was right there with him, Peter’s second-guessing himself brought him to doubt in his relationship with Jesus. And he sank! It’s a cautionary reminder for all believers.

When we are working on growing in our relationship with Jesus, individually or as a community of disciples on the way together, we will encounter moments when we will be brought to question and to doubt. “Should I do this or should I do that?” “Should we begin this ministry, or should we not?” “Do I make this choice for my family, or not?”

The beautiful, gentle power of today’s gospel reminds us that even if we feel overwhelmed and feel like we are drowning, the presence of Jesus in our life is assured. I may or may not be able to recognize that presence, but nonetheless it is certain. Even in those moments of life where I feel like I’m sinking like a stone, the living Son of God stands beside me and calls me out, calls me to trust.

God brings to fruitfulness the work he begins in our lives, and even if we can’t easily recognize the workings of God, God’s faithfulness is true and constant. This is indeed, Good News.